In my coaching practice and around me, I regularly hear people say that they have had to learn to say no. No, to certain people, customers or chores. The reason is often that it gives negative energy.
Learning to set limits and set boundaries well and clearly is essential to feel good and not to leak energy. And what is just as important is learning to say yes. And by that I mean doing those things that give you good energy. What makes you happy and nourishes you.
It is also true that from a certain age it becomes more important that what you do is also meaningful. Meaning then becomes important. This could be something you do at work or in your free time. For example, in my coaching work I came across a woman sewing clothes and going for a walk with an older person who really needed her help and really appreciated it. This gave her great satisfaction.
In our busy society and in our culture, the emphasis nowadays seems to be on learning to say no, while yes to things and people is at least as important.
Jan Bommerez, trauma expert, says that in the event of a burnout / stagnation it is not only important to set limits and let things go, but especially to do those things that give you good energy. And that missing this could also have partly caused the burnout.
A nice statement in this context comes from writer Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer, who says that it is an idea to live for a period with the following principle: ‘Be foolish enough to say yes to everything’. As a result, you can experience very surprising, new, stimulating things.
Of course, this does not mean that you no longer have to limit yourself, but that you become aware that you often have a tendency not to do something, for example because you don’t have time or because you are tired. Then you can choose to accept the other person’s proposal.