In my coaching sessions I pay attention to the male and female poles within yourself. What does this mean and what can I do as a life coach?
In our being and acting, as humans (i.e. as man and woman) we have both a feminine and a masculine pole within us. If one pool is not in order, this will have an immediate effect. For example, you cannot get things off the ground, you are not vital or you have difficulty entering into relationships.
Gaining awareness of this and seeing what is needed is advisable to feel happier and more vital and to become more complete.
What is a male and female pole?
If you have your male pool in good order, you will be able to;
- To take action. You do not get stuck in your powerlessness when something happens that needs to be solved, but you take action and do what needs to be done.
- To connect with your natural ambition. So you don’t strike out in either direction: about compensation to be seen and be very ambitious, for example, or not to move at all.
- To set boundaries and say no. You don’t jump into every hole that arises and you can say no and not do something without accusing the other person subliminally.
- You have your finances in order, this goes both ways. You have no debts (or take responsibility for paying them off) and you also dare to spend money instead of hoarding too much.
If you have your female pool in order, you will be able to:
- To give and receive and this is in balance. So you don’t rush in one direction, where you only give and cannot actually accept anything. The latter may be the case, for example, if you have the feeling that if you accept something, you pay a price for it.
- To bond. You are able to enter into relationships and these have meaning for you. These are relationships that are not only instrumental (so in which you need each other), but in which you can also be yourself.
- To be gentle and let yourself be touched. You are also able to be vulnerable.
What are the causes that your male and female pools are not in order?
There may be a number of causes that result in one or both poles not being properly developed:
- Due to trauma, someone can close off a certain side very strongly and not develop it. For example, to avoid sadness, someone is reserved and is unable to bond and enter into relationships.
- Stuck in a pattern. For example, you may be stuck in a pattern of always needing and wanting to be the strongest, which distorts your masculine pole and prevents you from reaching your soft side and emotions. Or you feel deeply victimized and helpless, so you do not take action or outsource this to someone else.
- You are not in the right place in your family system. For example, you have experienced too little support in your parental family and feel that you have to do everything alone. This can cause deformations in your male and female pole.
What can I do as a life coach?
Together with you, I will investigate where there is a blockage in your feminine and/or masculine pool and what lies beneath it:
- For example, there is a trauma. I can use the trauma relief product for this. This means that you move into your blockage to release it.
- Is there a persistent pattern that is holding you back? See the examples above. I will then discuss with you how you can change this by raising awareness of this.
- What is your position in your family system? I will discuss your family of origin with you and can also make a genogram with you, looking back at multiple generational lines.
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